FEZRA

EXAMS

2009-03-11T07:08:00.000-07:00

hellohello =))

Omg. Dyou realise ive not been taking pictures? the last pic taken was what? More than a bloody mnth ago siaaa! hahaha =) loser kan?

anyways, okayokay. i knw its nt the end of MSAs yet, bt im blogging. Only Malay Lit and Chem MSA are over and done with. Tmr will be Geog and Fri'll be GP and Math MSA. SIGH. -.-
soooo,

yest after sch, OKAY. not really AFTER sch, bt..nvm. you knw i know okay? yest AFT SCH, i met baby ard 2pm at Dhoby Ghaut. Guess whr we went? HAHA, FREAKING TOWN. yes, we went town on a Tuesday afternoon right after school. LOL. all this to buy Mama Emi's bday present. We bought her Gucci Rush perfume, which smells goddammit nice. im soooo gonna buy for myself when i have the money! then we sat ard at Macs, and drank Iced Chocolate. DAMN NICE, MUST TRY OKAY!

Ard 3.30pm, we walked to the far awayyyy bustop and boarded a bus to tamp. In the bus, i died. yes, i did. cos i was freaking sleepy and tired, i really couldnt stand it. when we reached Whitesands at Pasir Ris, I bought myself a nice pretty dress. YIKES! and we bought wrapping papers. Then bought ANOTHER iced chocolate from McCafe. LOL, LOSER KAN? and guess who i saw??? BELOVED HAZIMAHHHHH!! okay, aku miss kau manymany tau, gondol?

Khairil chipped in for the present also. so when we got to baby's home, i wrapped the present for his mother and made a card for her. BUTTTTT, baby Emi is soooo NAUGHTY. disturb ppl only! nak do card pn susah kay! TSK, and someone almost owe me a treat to Swensens. ONE MORE TIME, AND YOU HAVE TO AH.

Dear Bb,
Congratulations on your examination results. I have noticed quite an improvement in your studies, compared to your previous semester's results. I am therefore, glad to inform you that I am not disappointed in any way possible. Indeed, I am proud of your effort and the time taken for your revisions.However, I would LOVE to see a much better achievement for your third year. Please do keep in mind about the plans we have for the future. Lastly, I would just like to compliment you on your intelligence and that you are, by far, the smartest guy I have ever been with. I believe you can do better than what you are achieving. I believe in you greatly. Congratulations, once again.

Love,
Fezra.

ONE WEEK.

2009-03-06T09:11:00.000-08:00

hellohello =))

soo, last sunday. went to babylove's hs damnnn early in the morning. EIGHT AM. yes, EIGHT in the morning. haha =) his family just woke up, eating Macs for breakfast. spent time with love, watched dance shows on YouTube, then off to tutor his sister at 11am. Ended lesson ard 3pm, disturbed Emi while he was asleep. LOL. funny okay! cute =) Tried watching He's Just Not That Into You online, but quality not good. so we decided on sleeping on the couch instead. HAHAHA =) ard 6pm, after 10 hours at his hs, his dad sent me home. THANK YOU, UNCLE. and THANK YOU, LOVE for the day. though all we did was sleeping =/

Ended school late on Monday, ohmygawd. i cant remmber if i met love on that day. -.-
NOTE TO SELF: MUST ASK EMI! pfft.

Skipped useless PW lecture with Firqin only, cos the rest attended lecture. LOL. so me and Firqin went KFC, cos someone tu mengidam whipped potato. HAHAHA! bought whipped potato and fries, and laughed and laughed. got stares frm ppl, but when you put Firqin and me together. Heck, you think we care? LOL. so at 4pm, they started calling2 Firqin, so made our way back to sch.

''Org nk klua skola, kite nk patah alek skola.''
and Firqin, pls remmber the MAT SAMPAN. LOL!
how many times in your whole lifetime will a man in a SAMPAN say hi mcm taktaumalu?

WEDNESDAY WAS CROSS-COUNTRY, buttttt. Fezra being Fezra, i ended up at Emi's hs at 7.30am. HAHAHA! hey, it wasnt my idea okay! For the first time ever, Emi initiated the cabot thing. so we talked and talked till 9am, then slept till 1pm. he took a bath, and we ate, then off we went to Pasir Ris poly to get an mc. hahaha =) rushed to EHub afterwards to catch Pink Panther 2. I love you, baby. Love you love you love you.

Thursday had malay dance practice again, but this time we finished the whole thing!! YAY TO US! EXCITED OKAY! finally reached hm at 9pm. then SLEPT.

Today, i went to sch for only TWO PATHETIC lessons. i knw, mcm WTH kan? finished school at 11.30am =)) see the others suffer as they had to end later. AWWW, kesiannnn kan? haha =) once the bell rang at 1pm, rushed out of school to meet babylove at Eunos link. then chilled for awhile, then went to baby's hs. Ate fries, smoked, danced for him, then slept. hahaha =) we slept till 7.30pm. LOL. Lucky i woke up, okay! then he sent me home, chilled again ard my area, reached home safely at 9pm. Thank you, love. For sending me home every time.

Been studying alternate nights, and for that im proud of myself. Am trying to do the right things this year, and not repeat the same mistakes i did and waste another year. I dont care if i turned out to be a fucking studious nerd by the end of this month, when i get my A lvls certificate, i'll get the last laugh. But really, both Emi and I are trying to do the right thing for our future. Lazy, YES. But we have to do it. He's been pushing me alot these days, demanding that i study. LIKE HIM, full force. MAMPOS. MSA's nxt week, and i really hope to score. not to PASS, but to SCORE. seriously, why was i so stupid as to mix up my priorities last year? okay nvm. anyways, will be leaving Love until Monday for KL. there, i'll try to study. BUT FIRST PRIORITY, SHOPPINGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!! =)

okay, need a smoke now. will get back soon, maybe after MSAs. =)

RANDOM.

2009-02-27T04:25:00.000-08:00

25 Random Things About Me.

1) I fart and burp whenever and wherever i want to.

2) Im full of vulgarities.

3) I constantly lie to myself that im actually smart.

4) I have a HUGE appreciation for the performing arts.

5) My short-term dream is to dance salsa.

6) And join a dance competition.

7) Im lazy, like DAMNNN lazy. Even Emi says so.

8) I have 6 pillows and 3 teddys on my bed.

9) I LOVE to sleep.

10) My long-term dream: Be an accountant, get married, have 4 kids.

11) I think, having an engineer as a husband would be damn sexy.

12) I think I have a fetish for tall guys,aka Emi, though ive always thought, HEIGHTS DONT MATTER. -.-

13) I can watch a dance show all year round.

14) I cry when I watch sad,soppy movies. and it'll be continuous for a longggg time.

15) Ive turned myself into a partial nerd, i think.

16) I have no intentions whatsoever to cheat on Emi, and this is WEIRD.

17) I dont feel like socialising anymore now. (aka making new friends)

18) I dress according to my mood.

19) I dont wish to be taller, except when i have that sudden aspiration to be a stewardess. -.-

20) Emi and I are alrdy choosing what to wear for our wedding. SHUTUP. dont laugh.

21) I walk ard the house when im bored.

22) I can give myself a movie marathon.

23) I used to think i was psychotic.

24) I want to ride a bike, and i will. Just watch me.

25) LEGALLY EIGHTEEN THIS YEARRRRR!!!!

and you.
i love you much. and im missing you even more.
=))

JETS FLYING HIGH.

2009-02-24T08:16:00.000-08:00

BAILA, BAILA

im feeling so emotional right nw. and idk why.
maybe its the I-have-to-do-GP-but-im-fucking-lazy.
plus I-just-watched-the-finale-of-SoYouThinkYouCanDance4. (i hate endings)
and the Im-missing-you-so-much.
plus listening-to-Three-Cheers-For-5-Years.

all remixed together.

i miss you damn much. but you're thr, busy studying so am not gonna disturb you with I miss you msgs. i knw you wont mind, bt still. no. GO STUDY. =)

i still remmber the day i first saw you, so hard to look into your eyes.
i still remmber the first date,stole me heart away.
i still remmber the texts after that, 'in my eyes, i see things differently'.
i still remmber the starbucks date,we walked home.
i still remmber the park,that gaze.
i still remmber the calls, the songs.
i still remmber the What Happened in LV, the first.
i still remmber the 20th, the letter and the question.
i still remmber marina square, the jets and the heart in the sky.
i still remmber the tears, sorry.
i still remmber the flyer, was so happy.

i still remmber every single shit, loving you every moment as i breathe.

and when we fight, i miss you the mostest.

BABYLOVE. =)

2009-02-23T01:28:00.000-08:00

THE NOT-NEEDED FACEEEE!!

hellohello =)))

okay. maybe it's abit too late to wish you this.
BUTTTT.

HAPPY BELATED 7TH MONTH ANNIVERSAIRE, ANGEL!

=)
truth is, i actually FORGOT. hahaha!
this is hw i remmbered my 7th monsary (thanks to my beloved frens!) :

firqin: eh, today what date ah?
hayati: 19th Feb.
fezra: kpale hotak kau 19th. 20th lah!

( Fezra stops in her actions. )
fezra: OMG! TODAY 20TH????!!!! AKU BODO KAPE SAKKKKK???!!! nari aku nye 7th mnth! HAHAHAHA! (searching for hp like mad woman)
izzati: bodoooo sak kau. hahaha.
fezra: OMG! OMG! (still searching for hp)

however, i didnt msg him and decided to surprise him at hm. told him i just board the bus frm sch when ive alrdy reached his area. BUT HE KNEWWWW I WAS LYING! fuck you fuck youuuu! i was right in front of the doorstep, and just when i was about to knock, he opened the door with a ppr written ' HAPPY 7TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY BABY!! '

hahaha. LOSER. so he actually remmbered.
gahhhhh.
i thought he'd forgotten. LOL.

i want to be short but simply sweet like you, but sadly. ive no gift like that.

these past few mnths of knowing you, lightens up my life. and i dare say, you are the one for me cos you make me sooo happy when you can make me sad at the same time. you make me cry tears of joy, and you make me blush. you've made me fall so deeply in love, im so faithful like ive nvr been before. LITERALLY, yes. only YOU can handle my behaviour, only YOU can tolerate my attitude, only YOU can hear my first laughs, only YOU can wipe my first drop of tears. I love you more than you can ever imagine. And trust my words, i love you like no one else can.

im sorry if ive made life difficult for you. im sorry if ive been the most hard to please girl you've ever met, im sorry if i demand too much of you, im sorry ive been such a bitch. but nevertheless, you should knw that im always thankful that i have you in my life, loving me for who i am. although everyone knws how disgusting i can get, you still love me as much. im still your cute little girl, somehw. i cant wait for our future tgether, 6 more years baby! you knw i wont promise you forever, cos promises are meant to be broken. bt i REALLY HOPE that i'd be always there for you when you need me the most, that i'd always be thr for you, loving you with all my heart. and im just waiting for the days when i'll be happily yours forever. you're the sweetest.

Here's to manymanymany seconds/minutes/hours/days/weeks/months/years to come. Here's to YOU AND ME.

didnt attend sch tdy, THANKS TO FLU. Miss my crazy bunch today. was typing THIS when SOMEONE aka RASUL, called. pretending to be a teacher.

(HP RINGS)
Fezra: Hello?
Rasul: May i speak to Fezra pls?
Fezra: Fezra here, who's that?
Rasul: im your co CT from 09S16. Why didnt you attend school tdy?
Fezra: Oh, im down with flu.
Rasul: I EXPECT an mc from you tmr, is that understood?
( WTF DOES THIS TCHER WANT FROM ME????)
Fezra: ive msged Mrs Liau this morning, i have an mc.
Rasul: I called your parents just now, and they said you went to sch. Can you give me an explanation?
(i was THIS CLOSE to screaming my vulgarities out. )

and thennnn...i heard laughing laughing in the backgrd. FUCK YOUUU PEOPLE!
hahahahahahahahha =) besok, SEME jage okay!
and rasul, you successfully conned me, not because im STUPID. bt because you REALLY sound like a WOMAN. haha, REALLY!!!

so that was the joke of the day, aka GERAMNYE-BESOK-AKU-BANTAI-KRG-CUKUP2 joke.

till then, much love. =)

If I were a builder
Then you'd have a castle
Drive on the highest mountain
And if I were a buildiner
I'd give you every material thing
But unfortunately all I have to give to you
Is an imperfect heart
But it's a heart that beats only for you


Listen to this girl if you give me one shot
I will love you forever now
No man will do you better now
Love is a risk
But if you give me one shot
I will show you your the only girl
In the world who can
Give me this feeling
Baby, that's how I feel about you
You're one in a million
I'd rather die than live without you
We can't miss
So if you give me one shot
We can do it girl {we can do it girl} do it girl


I'm talkin' 'bout love in the mornin'
Just like you want it
Anything you need you can call me for it
Now girl I'm only human
I'm full of many faults
I'm guaranteed to fall short (guaranteed to fall)
But you'll never hear about me cheating
'Cause I never would betray your trust
No matter what
I will look to you and only you for love
I treat your soul like it was mine
What a privelege to me to breathe your air
Doesn't that say that I care?


Listen to this girl if you give me one shot
I will love you forever now
No man will do you better now
Love is a risk
But if you give me one shot
I will show you *you're* the only girl
In the world who can
Give me this feeling
Baby, that's how I feel about you
Your one in a million
I'd rather die than live without you
We can't miss
So if you give me one shot
We can do it girl {do it girl} do it girl


I'm talkin' all my heart
All my soul
Always stay
Never go
Ohhh yeah
But unfortunately all I have to give to you
Is an imperfect heart
But it's a heart that beats only for you


Listen to this girl if you give me one shot
I will love you forever now
No man will do you better now
Love is a risk
But if you give me one shot
I will show you your the only girl
In the world who can
Give me this feeling
Baby, that's how I feel about you
*You're* one in a million
I'd rather die than live without you
We can't miss
So if you give me one shot
We can do it girl {do it girl} do it girl

I'm talkin' 'bout everyday
Everynight
The rest of your days
The rest of your life


Listen to this girl if you give me one shot
I will love you forever now
No man will do you better now
Love is a risk
But if you give me one shot
I will show you your the only girl
In the world who can
Give me this feeling
Baby, that's how I feel about you
You're one in a million
I'd rather die than live without you
We can't miss
So if you give me one shot
We can do it girl {do it girl} do it girl

BUSY! =)

2009-02-19T05:46:00.000-08:00

To those who didnt knw, YES I CHOPPED OFF MY HAIR.

hellohello =))

OMG! its been like, what? A MONTH since i last updated? HOHOHO. okay, truth is. ive been busy with school. FEZRA? SCHOOL? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS??? quite not sadly, yes. busy with school. been having sooo much activities, sooo much fun with schoolmates. some days, i just wish we can all overnight there. i think, this is the moment of my life.

ive nvr been school spirited, even in sec sch days. i'll go home straight aft sch. not cos im a goody-two-shoes, bt i cant STAND staying bck in sch. every second KILLS me.i'd go hm to change out of my uniform and go bck out with home clothes. reason being, MUCH MORE FREEDOM. so anywys, MRC ppl ( Malay Retainees' Club ) have been making my life the best this yr. we slack together, study tgther, laugh FUCKING loud tgether.

Izzati, Rasul, Firqin, Nadia, Farid, Hayati, Adilah and Jannah. THE BEST PPL YOU'LL EVR MEET. Rasul, jgn kembang pls. okayokay, dah eh. enough eh of the emo2 compliment2 ni seme.

sooo anyways, me, Izzati and Firqin have been busy choreographing our Malay-Bali Dance for performance. and i hope it'll turn out nice. =)) and i think im joining Rhythmic Gymnastics. OKAY. shutup pls.

life with Shaik Mohamad Helmi has been FABULOUS. soooo manymany incidents happen during this one mnth. Funny, though. Coming seventh mnth. YAY! =) i love you soo veryvery much,and im still meeting you almost everyday. Fuck You, bastard. Hahaha. Anyways, ive uploaded manymany pictures of LAST MNTH. haha =) and i MISS MY LONG HAIR =( i swear i wont cut it everrr again.

truth is right nw, im feeling abit bitchy. hahaha =)
okay. Firstly, WOMAN. In case you havent realised, your ex is MY VERY BELOVED BOYFRIEND. and i seriously beg to differ that he's a bad boyfriend. He told me he WAS before he met me, bt the way he treated me right from the start is, in my opinion, much better than yours. So the next time you put 'MY PREV EX', pls be careful with your words. Cos yknw what? you dont have to cmpare. if your LOVE is great, then it is. there's no questions abt it. i dont do comparisons.

please dont be such a loser.
understand that he treated you that way,
cos YOU'RE NOTHING SPECIAL.
not saying that i am. but hey,try to prove me wrong.
and dont take this to the heart,
im just giving you a friendly advice NOT to insult ppl just as you like.
=) stay happy with your loved one!

FUCK YOU.

2009-01-30T06:11:00.000-08:00

im fucking frustrated right now.
dont even try to make me laugh, i might just smack your fucking face.

i swear to god i hate her.
and her fugly face.
and her fucking attitude.
yes, im a bitch. so glad you get to knw that now.
ive always been one.

fuck you.
and you for not saying anything.

p.s: ignore this post.
thank you.

SENTOSA, CNY.

2009-01-26T06:57:00.000-08:00

Through the fire through the rain
Through the joy and the pain
*ESTE AMOR* remains the same
I'm a give you the world
Through the fights through the change
Through the nights through the days
*ESTE AMOR* remains the same
I'mma give you the world

hellohello =))

TODAY IS ONE OF THE FUNNEST AND HAPPIEST DAYS!!
haha. went to Sentosaaa with Love, my sister and Annn (sis's bf).
okay, initially annoyed. wont say the reason why,it'll offend some ppl. reached thr ard 2pm by train. planned to travel by car bt mum needed the car. set out the mat and we ate what my beloved mum cooked for us. she woke up sooo early, just to cook us Kway Teow goreng, ayam goreng, egg sandwich and hotdogs. HAHAHA! niceee right my mother. Thank You mother sayang, though you wont be reading this. LOVE YOU sooo much for manymany reasons and this is one of them.

after eating, sister and me went to toilet to change and we gt bck, this is what i see:

YES!
my retarded bf did that while we were in the toilet.
AWWWWWW. thank you baby. seriously MANIS.
HAHAHAHA!

then all four of us played VOLLEYBALL!
hahaha, my first time playing bt i think i rocked enough.
okaylah, maybe i didnt. perasan only.
but one thing for sure, my sister KENTAL.

WAHHH WAHHH, ceh Annn!

Fifi and Annn. SHUTUP. i know she looks like me -.-

YES, i can carry Emi who's 1.7++ m tall.

EMI MCM GIANT KANNNN???!!

BONCIT!!!!

WTF B????!!! haha, nk step stuntman katekn.

NOTICE the guy in black shorts sitting down in the middle of nowhere: EMI. HAHAHAA!!

sooo, had muchmuchMUCH fun just nw! i think my hands bengkak alrdy, thx to volleyball. haha! left Sentosa ard 6.50pm. cabbed to Annn's hs, his sister's bday. gedebak gedebuk, we reached hm ard 10.15pm.

TIRING BT FUCKING FUN! ( in my language )

anw, yest had dinner with my family after taking Geog notes from Isaaaa! haha =) had dinner at Lau Pa Sat. Parents sent us home, then sent my babyboy home. yes, only my parents and HIM. hahaha!

FRIDAYYYYY!! had CNY celebrations. we did dikir barat andddd IT WAS A SUCCESS!! spending time with all these mly peeps made me realise hw much ive missed in my first yr in SA. and i thought school was BOOORINGGGG! ( with exaggeration pls ). ive NEVER laughed sooo hard in school, and these ppl gave me LIFE. im ALWAYS DEAD in school. step out of school, teros hidop balek. hahaha! bt really, can say i love them and im looking forward to spending more time with them.

Oh, and i have a MINAH partner in school alrdy. FINALLY, haha. after all these years searching for one. HAHAHA!

That's Rasul! The one who nvr fails to bitch and nvr fails to make me laugh like crazy. Sad to say, he brings me LIFE in school. and im serious abt it. HAHAHAHA!

andd after dikir, went lunch with them at Geylanggg! Rasul rabak. Go lah with your cinone frens! Seoul garden konon! SIOLLLLLL AJE! hahaha! ard 4pm, met Love and spent time with him until 8.30pm. he went for soccer, and i went home at 9pm.

P.S: CNY and the nong nong weekend is just making me sigh to school assignments.

and bodo, aku sayang kau.

JE T'AIME.

2009-01-20T05:54:00.000-08:00

I've often think of the question you've asked me.
Why do I love you? Here goes sweetie.

It's the beauty of your smile; it's everything that you do.
For I see happiness when I look at you.
The way you dance, your silly wink,
The way you laugh, or simply how you blink.
The love I feel when you hold me tight.
A love to keep me warm through the coldest of nights.
How you make me feel, how you open up my heart.
All the hopes that you bring right from the start.
How your tender kisses can put me in a daze.

I love you baby in each and every way.
How you lift me up, how you gave me flight,
Forever is what I see when I look into your eyes.
My heart beats to a new rhythm, a rhythm of love.
All because of you my angel sent from above.
You're my ray of light on those dark, gloomy days.
You are the answer to all of my prayers.

I can continue with my reasons, my list is endless.
For I love you more and more as each day progresses.
So why do I love you?let me tell you why...
Because you're my hopes, my dreams, my love my life.

RECEIPTS.... -.-

2009-01-20T05:04:00.000-08:00

There's so much in you, which the rest failed to see.

hellohello =))

oggayyy. i just realised i keep ALOT of receipts in my wallet. like SERIOUSLY alot! LOL.
most of them are just likeee, memories yknw. okay. actually ALL of them are memories.

1) Starbucks coffee receipt - the SECOND date with Shaik Emi. hahaha. starbucks coffee at TM. it was on 11th June 08. LOOOONGGG ago. the receipt is faded. VERYVERY faded.

2) Melleo's Place receipt - 1st Nov. went to eat thr after a HUGEEEEE fight. so yes, memories.

3) Bistro Walk receipt - kay. you might nt have heard of this place cos it's in TP. hahaha, went to his sch and we decided to eat ice-cream waffles in this cafe. 28th Oct 08.

4) Ya Kun Kaya Toast receipt - 8th Nov, i remmbered it was a happy day. bt i cant recall what we did that day. LOL. okay, i just looked at my previous blog posts. we went cycling that day! hahaha, yesyes. HAPPY DAY!

5) Swensens receipt - our first time eating swensens togethr on our 5th mnth!!! =)

6) Starbucks Coffee receipt - our 2nd Starbucks date. haha, TOWN AT TEN!!! *inside joke*

7) Celio* Paragon receipt - HIS BDAY PRESENT!!

8) Lee Cooper receipt - HIS BDAY PRESENT!

9) Ikea receipt - his bday candles. okay, i knw. WTH, RIGHT???

10) Singapore flyer receipt and tickets - HIS BDAY TREAT!!! =)

11) Bengawan Solo receipt - HIS BDAY CAKE!! hahaha, wth.

12) NTUC Fairprice receipt - 131208, we bought manymany snacks just to eat at his hs while watching Transporter, i think. -.-

okay dah.
this is just a random post.
WTHWTH.
ok bye!

HAPPY THE SIXTH! =)

2009-01-20T00:00:00.000-08:00

Because when i close my eyes, all i can see is YOU.

HAPPY 6TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY, LOVE!!
hoho.
half a year, huh? seems fast,isnt it?

idk howwww many million times ive said this,
but again. I LOVE YOU.
(okayyy ppl, shutup. i knw ure bored READING my 'I love you's)

cant believe we've gone this far.and i hope we'll go further,cos you make me happy all the time.
okay, that sounds self-centered. BUT REALLY! and im sorry for making you suffer all this while. i know im difficult to handle, but you did it. and im still SOOOO in love with you! even after 6 months.

okay, wait. ive been in love with you MORE than 6 months! it's..7 mths, right? we both knw,we're both at fault if anything goes wrong. like, say..you did stupid mistakes and i threw tantrum all over. but you forgave me and vice versa. thr's no such love in the world where thr's no arguments here and there. NOTHING'S PERFECT. if it is, then there must be SOMETHING WRONG. hahahaha =))

im becoming soooo dependent on you, that i hate it.
i hate being sooo un-independent now.
i hate having to have you with me when im out just to buy macs.
i hate talking to you on the phone all the time cos i miss you.
i hate staring at you staring back at me,making me all flushed.
i hate having you to be the one taking care of me,looking out for me.
i hate needing your arms to wrap ard me, just to feel secured once again.
i hate thinking abt you all the time,even the most irritating thing you did.
i hate knowing that my heart will break if you ever hurt it.
i hate laughing in classes,just cos i was thinking of you being silly.

and i hate knowing that how much i try to hate you or hurt you,i'll still love you more.

i just hate you.

HAPPY 6TH MONTH LOVING YOU, BABY.
=)

HAPPY BDAY, MOTHER!

2009-01-18T06:33:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA!!!
=))
she'll soooo kill me if she knows im posting this picture in the public view.

soooo anw, it was a greatgreat dayyyy! in the morning, went to ugame class ( SHUTUP RASUL. i knw what you're thinkingggg.)..then woke baby up at 11.30am.. reached home,got ready and met Emi under my void deck to go to TM. bought mum the Carlo Rino wallet and purse, then sister and bf came to fetch us. went to buy manymany stuffs, then went back hm ard 3.45pm.

sister ordered Pizza Hut and Golden Pillow. everyone was at home, except for brother cos he had to work. so Pizza Hut came like superrrr fast. so while waiting for the Golden Pillow to arrive, we took pix and set the table. after much waiting till we CANNOT wait anymore, we started eating pizzas. baby ate like SOOO MANY slices lah! hahaha, BONCIT!

FINALLY, the Golden Pillow arrived, and we ate and ate nonstop! hahaha, full gilerrr lah. thennn...the opening of presents..
sister gave my mum Espirit perfume and my dad Espirit perfume also, cos it was their 27th Anniversary on the 16th Jan. Annn gave my mum a handbag, idk what brand. Papa, Emi and me gave her the wallet and purse. Brother and Kak Zana postponed the gift. =)))

after the makan2, we all just slacked. me and baby sat outside,sing2 dance2...erm looking up songs on my lappy..blablabla..then ard 7pm, baby went home.

overall, i had a fun and fantastic day today with all my loved ones, except for brother and my grandparents. and i hope that baby had a wonderful day too today, getting to knw more abt my family!

I LOVE YOU BABY.
i swear i do.
and thanks for joining my family okay!

I LOVE THIS PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!

GATHERINGS!! =)

2009-01-17T05:44:00.000-08:00

hellohello!!! =)))

as you can seeeee, i was with bb's family!! =))

woke up to Jannah's txt, plus manymany muscle aches (thanks to cheer training yest)... supposed to go buy my Mummy's bday present. bt tk jadi, cos Daddy forgot to give me money. and coincidentally, baby's mother asked me to join them for lunch! HOHOHO.

but, i didnt knw his aunt and uncle were joining! so yes, NERVOUS. bt i did meet them once. no, twice. during the chalet. went to Eunos CC, food thr was damnnnn NICE!!! so we ate, while watching tv, ppl singing hindustani songs. =) not that bad. their singing, and the place's food i mean. anw, BOTTOMLINE issss...... i enjoyed the great day and great food! Thanks to baby's parents...thank you sooooo much for inviting me along.

then his parents dropped us off at TM. i swearrrr we had nooo idea what to do. i managed to drag Khairil along, that loser! hahahahaha! =)) jkjk. so yes, we went to Cotton On. baby bought two shirts and i managed again to convince Khairil to buy a blue shirt. you knw hw diff it was or nt? YOU KNWWWW OR NOT?!!

then went to survey PS3 prices and all, when we reached Pasir Ris, Khairil and us parted ways cos he just went off with his friend. hahaha =) so me and baby just chilled ard and yeah, i storied to him abt Rasul. YES, RASUL! IT'S YOUR NAME. WE *BITCHED* ABT YOU! hahaha =) nooo lah, we didnt BITCH. told him hw much FUN i had on a Friday afternoon in school yest. ive nvr had a fun Friday or any days. =)))

so today was like baby's family gathering.
and tmr's gonna be MY family gathering.
IT'S MOMMY'S BDAYYYY TMR!
im buying her a Carlo Rino Wallet.
*SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*
daddy's paying 70% of the price. me and emi share the rest!
i did a bday card for my beloveddddd mum.i knw it sounds childish, bt ive been doing that for her and my daddy all my life. so it's not something out of the ordinary for me.
CANT WAIT FOR TMR!!!

sooo, talking abt fridayyy.
aft sch, waited with Rasul, Firqin and Nadia for Dk Barat practice for CNY. had lotsssss of laughters. FUN PPL! i nvr tot this yr would be soooo good. ard 4pm, left for cheer training, omg! did handstandsssss...EXCITING!! bt my techniques sucked. thanks to the not gg for training for almost...TWO MONTHS? hahaha.

soooo, before i forget...
HAPPY ADVANCED BDAY, DEAREST MUMMY!
you're the light to my path, wherever i walk.
and you NVR give up on me, even when i disappoint you.
you're the MOST forgiving person i knw, the most patient, and the most loving.
I LOVE YOU AND PAPA MOREEEE than anybody else in this whole UNIVERSE.
and i would NVR trade you for another.
you might be difficult for me, and i might be difficult for you.
but i love you too much to rebel, and hence the acceptance of rules.
I LOVE YOU, MOTHER.
and i would literally DIE without you, cos you ARE my life.

and to babylove.
a reply to your post:

YESSS! i cant believe it'd be our 6th Month soon! time flies sooo fast. and thr's sooo many things ive discovered abt you, bt thr's much more to knw. really, idk why im soooo attached to you. You took my eyes off other guys and nw it's only seeing YOU. which is weird, considering im Fezra.
I love you babyboy, second to my family.
Bt I love you, and trust me on this.
It'd be our 1st year in a blink of an eye..then 7 yrs.
and i knw you'd be the reason to my smiles for a LIFETIME.

2009-01-13T04:54:00.000-08:00

HELLOHELLO!!!! =))

okayokayyyy. i know,long time no see right? HAHAHA. been sooosoooo busy nowadays. actually, no. im just busy with facebook, playing my Pet Society and Mafia Wars. -.-

haha, wth i know.

so anw, hws 2009 so far huh? hmmm, it's good. been great so far. =) started school on monday. heh, not so bad i guess. will talk more abt this ltr. bt firstly, let me recall what happened the past week.

Monday:
hmmmm...i think i met my love?ohhh yesyes!! hahaha, went to his hs and took his helmet for him while he was schooling. why didnt he bring it to sch?? COS HE PAISEH. hahahahaha! Loser sia.so yeah, took his helmet, walked to whitesands and deposit his money for him, then took bus to his sch and he boarded my bus. then OFF we go to cdc for his prac! =))

Tuesday:
I met babylove at his hs in the morning then went to school with him at ard 2.30pm. while he had his class, helped him do some notes for him to study cos he was supposed to have a test. after he ended class,we went to eat at ITAS. FRIED COCKLES KWAY TEOW!! fav okay! thennnn, HIS NEXT CLASS CANCELLED! waste time only. sooo anyways, we went to chill ard my area and guess what we played?

SCISSORS PAPER STONE!
LOL.
the one, erm if you lose, your hand kena smacked.
YES, that one!

OMG! my bf is soooo dayus! like,he smack my hand ahhh. TAK BAGI MUKE SIA! and im his gf somemore! sooo i fed up, i also smack him hard2. hahaha! then we were both like 'OWW! OWW! OHMYFUCKKK!' hahahaha =) funny sia. bt both dont want to give up. like, mati2 hold on to each other. SOOO EGO sia.haha! then in the end, i saw his hand like SUPERRR FUCKING red. and im proud to say i was the who called it quits. NOOO, not cos it was painful. cos i knw he was hurting. and i dont wish to hurt him anymore WITH MY SUPERPOWER STRENGTH. hahaha =)

okay. the hands in the pix are not that red. bt in reality, it was dammit red. and my hand gt bruises a few hrs after that. it swelled up like fuck and there were blue-blacks everywhr. bt luckily,it eased down after a day or two. baby's hand was alright, not swollen. bt his had red spots all over and it looked painful, bt he felt nothing. sooo yeah, we're a GILER BABI couple.

so anyways, later that night. me, my sister and Emi went to TM at 9pm. sister drove and fetched him frm his hs. went to Popular cos sister had to buy LOTSSSS of stuffs. we were the last ones standing in the Popular. hahaha =) sent Emi hm afterwards, and we reached home close to 11pm.

yes, my sister's as short as me. yet, she's 4 YEARS OLDER. hahaha. Emi's like a GIANT what whenever he comes to my house, dont you knw? HAHAHAHAHA!

Wednesday:
stayed home alllllllll day long. cos baby had thoery lessons at cdc with zaini until 8plusplus. so yeah =)) just rotted awayyyy...

Thursday:
SHOOTING DAYYY! yes, like practically the whole day. went out to meet them at bishan at 2pm. started shooting like ard 4pm at Bishan Park. it was scenes after scenes. that day was fun, really. lots of laughs and we did sooo much talking. FUNFUN! and yes, i do miss them and the laughters. Hahaha! anw, my last scene was at 9pm. so i ended ard 10pm. then i took bus to angmokio...took train to bishan...took 53 to Pasir Ris to meet my love!!! and sooo when i reached Pasir Ris, it was already 11.30pm. then baby sent me home, reached home past midnight. Mummy was soooo sweet. she waited up for me,and gt sooo worried. she sounded sleepy when she called, cos she was alrdy sleeping. bt she waited up. Thank you mummy darling for the waiting up and worrying. and Thank you love, for sending me home safely at midnight, making sure nothing happens to me.

Friday:
MET MY LOVE after he had friday prayers!! bahahaha. went to his hs and slacked ard as usual. haha, this time we slept. yes, i was soooo dammit tired and sleepy, due to the not having enough rest the previous night.

Saturday:
went out at 2pm to alter my uniform. mummy sent me to afgan to withdraw money. then she sent me to Interchange to get for her letters. then i walked to the mrt to top up my Ezlink concession. then FINALLY, took bus 8 and met love at Wan's hs. he just ended his bike prac with zaini so they lepaked with wan. so yeah, we took bus 51 to Bugis. ate long john the FIRST thing when we gt there cos we were soooo BLOODY HUNGRY! hahaha =)

shopped for a bag and shoes.
gt a beautiful bag at Bugis Street for 25 bucks.
and gt myself Converse shoes for 51 bucks.
you know how difficult it is to find A PAIR OF SHOES????
yes, NO SIZE.

and thank you, love for accompanying though you were so beat. and you knw I love you, right?

Sunday:
babylove fetched me at 3pm. then we went TM to buy my stationeries and pencil box. then went to take my altered uniform, which still looks unaltered. we just hung out under the block, surrounded by manymany cats. hahahaha =)

Monday:
was an interesting day. hahaha =) after school, went to TP to wait for Emi to end class. called beloved Lorraine up, and she accompanied me. chilled and smoked outside school while waiting for emi. then all three of us went to Design sch to eat, DAMN cheap thr. we storied alot. more about Political stuffs...and abt Islam....and abt the History of Islam...and things about Islam.

HAHAHAHA, yes im for real.
yeah, we talked abt monsters and ghosts. and it got us thinking abt some stuffs, yknw? and yeah, it was a dammit LONGGGG talk. ended at 6.40pm. LOL. then lorraine followed me home cos she needed the toilet. sat ard for awhile in my room, then off to home she went with emi. =))

miss you lah babe. see you ard soon okay! MUST!

today is just SLEEP-AFTER-SCHOOL day. nothing interesting.
except for a CRAZY counsellor.
those who knws, will knw.

IN THE END. =)

2009-01-01T04:34:00.000-08:00

IN THE END, IT WAS YOU.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, ALL!!

hellohello =)))

its a NEW year, isnt it? hahaha, well truth is. i never had a new year resolution all my life, its like...Come What May, yknw? i take life as it is. If it comes, it comes. BUTTTT. this yr's diff. Im starting the year with someone i trulytruly love, and i hope this yr is diff from the previous years. thereforeeee, ive decided to make a new year resolution! this is like on-the-spot resolution. it wasnt thought overnight.

1) I hope studies would be muchmuch better this year, and that i'd quit hating school alrdy.
2) I HOPE i wont skip school as much as i did, as tempting as it is. I'll try not to.
3) I hope love and me will spend the year together and have fun! and i knw for sure, with him ard, nothing will ever go wrong and i'll enjoy every second of the times spent with him.
4) I just hope I'll make beloved mama and papa proud. That's my main resolution for this yr.

soooo soooo anw. HAHAHAHA! i had the BEST countdown night and the BEST new year celebration EVERRRRR! =)))))

actually,the plan was to stay at home like a loser, as usual. My babyboy was supposed to have plans with his frens, bt okay. Mishaps happened, so from vivo, he trained back all the way hm. Then ard 12am, he came to fetch me under my block. =) then we took bus 12, camwhored abit, then dropped at Downtown East. Reached thr and queued to partayyyyy! haha, ok mcm phm. Once inside, with the music blaring and the mats minahs dancing shuffling away, we searched for Zul and friends.

Danced with Love like there's no tomorrow. dancing with him, was like..as if we're the only ones there. He's the first i ever danced with, and hopefully the last. sure did party hard for the 2 hours there. =))) left the place at 3am, and we walked home with Zul and Man. Took a cab halfway at Zul's hs. Reached home at 4am. Babylove cabbed home after that. Talked on the phone till 5am. and woke up at 3.30pm today. =))

and yesss, it was the BEST COUNTDOWN EVER.
and he's the first one i see in Year 2009.
and yesss, it was the BEST NIGHT EVER.
and I LOVE HIM TO DEATH.
and i'll ALWAYS be there for him,
and i'll make sure he'll enjoy every single day of his life.
like how he did for me.

anw,on the last day of 2008, met baby at 10am. went to eat at Tamp Interchange at 12pm, then went bck to his house to take some things, then followed him to cdc. went off from thr and reached tamp ard 5pm. we went to the area near his school to eat Maggi and buy Bubbletea! hahaha =)) after eating and all, baby taught me some tricks. ALOT actually. laugh here, laugh there. then left the place at 6plus. we stopped at Tamp Mart to buy Coke from Macs, then i sent baby to the bustop cos his parents were fetching. Reached home at 7pm, and then spent the night partying with love. =)

My beloved brotherrrr got married on last Sunday!!! =)))
hahahaha, and ALL my aunts and uncles of both sides have seen my love.
haha, yes. paiseh okay =)
and yes, they did disturb me. hahahaha =)))
andddd,

WELCOME TO THE FAMILY, KAK ZANA!
yes, she's VERY pretty. and im not lying.
i dont lie abt beauty.

IN THE BUS, otw to Downtown.

TOWN AT TEN

2008-12-26T11:02:00.000-08:00

YOU DRIVE ME MAD ALL THE TIME, BT I LOVE YOU ALL THE SAME.

IM CRAZY ENOUGH TO STICK WITH YOU, COS IM CRAZY OVER YOU.

YOU'RE MORE THAN WHAT THE WORLD CAN EVER GIVE ME.

THE REASON TO MY TEARS,BT HELL. HOW DO I LIVE W/O YOU?

BENEATH THE STARS, YOU GAVE ME YOUR ETERNAL KISS.

THIS IS THE GIRL WHO LOVES YOU LIKE NO OTHER.

THE ONE WHO SWEPT ME OFF MY FEET, and still does.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, EVEN WORDS ARE NOT ENOUGH TO EXPLAIN ANYTHING.

hellohello =)))

OMGOMG!

one of the fuckinggggg greatest days today!!

so anw, woke up at 9.30am. damn sleepy cos i slept ard 5am? hahaha =) yes, talked to love. the other day we talked till 6.30am, we slept when our families had woken up. LOL. crazy. accompanied brother and my future sis-in-law (AHHHH! EXCITEDDDD!) to the doc cos brother is down with fever. then we ate at bedok, and off to Tanjong Katong Complex to take Kak Zana's and bro's clothes for Sunday. i sent this baju kebaya for alteration for Sunday also. ahahahaha=)

then we cabbed home, brother sent his future wife home first though. =) reached home ard 1pm, thennnn....I SLEPT! hahaha =) was supposed to wake babylove up at 2pm, bt yeah, i slept till 3.30pm. LOL. then talked otp with him till 5pm, got ready, left home at 6pm. reached love's hs, and we made MAGGI GORENGGG! hahaha =) Loser sia. went out from his hs at 7.15pm. AND WE STILL DIDNT KNW WHR THE HELL TO GO. pathetic, right?

sooooo, we just train-ed to Town. hahaha, and when we reached thr, we just roamed abt aimlessly. sat down somewhr and CAMWHOREDDDD! hahaha =) then decided to drink at Starbucks! WOOOO! =)) bought this chicken ham thing, oh fuck. damnnn nice =)

then sat in front of lido, chilled for a while and smoked.

*TOWN AT TEN BABY!*

hahaha, yes. town at 10pm. FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME. haha =) kecoh.

baby sent me home afterwards, reached home ard 11.10pm.

HAPPPPPYYYY KAPE.

=))))

thanks, love. for the lovely night out. and though we didnt really have any plans, you still rocked my night. and the time at starbucks, is priceless and it reminded me of our first Starbucks date. =) and please, STOP STARING AT ME. thank you. i wasnt blushing, it was my BLUSHER, you idiot. *blush*

got home, and he said 'B, this song's for you.'

The blue clouds, they spell out your name

The darkest nights, you shine in them

I love you & I cant imagine

If you're not here with me

It's early days but I know for sure

That what I feel is real sincere

Let's make this, the best time of our lives

Be my better half

I'll give you my world

I'll treat you nice

Cos for my love

I'll sacrifice

Anything I could

Everything I would

Chorus

My love

You're everything I could ask for

Your smile makes me happy

Your tears makes me sad

And I know for sure

This is the best feeling I ever had

Your love

Brighten my dimmest light

Make my heart beat faster than before

As days pass I'm gonna love you more

I promise

Bridge

I wanna say something to you

There's no one else that swept me off my feet like the way you do

And all I want is you

I promise that our love would shine if you let me with you

(Chorus)

will you still love me tomorrow?

2008-12-25T08:28:00.001-08:00

hellohello =)

hmm.

hmmmm.

okay. i really have NOTHING to update.

im just a lil upset, and thought of blogging.

wth, i knw.

-.-

changed my blog song.

dedicated to beloved Shaik Md Helmi.

cos i NEVER fail to be reminded of him playing the drums whenever i listen to THAT song in my Zen. (though the song in my zen is played by another band)

Just two words.

FUCKING HOT.

im still contemplating whether i shd or shd not go to the birthday party tmr.

held at Hyatt Hotel.

so grand, right?

it'll end ard midnight.

so here's the thing:

if i go, i'll get to eat the free food. it's not EVERYDAY you get to go Hyatt Hotel and eat thr FOR FREE, right?

on the other hand, if i dont go, i get to spend my night time with My Shaik. and it's not like EVERYDAY i get to spend my night time with him till 11pm, right?

so, yes. im in a complete dilemma.
please help.

and no, im NOT upset abt that.

CONVERSATION.

2008-12-23T19:57:00.000-08:00

i forgot to add in this.

Me: Omg! BUTCH b! BUTCH!
Boyf: I knowwwwwwwwwww. -.-
Me: See lah. The butches gt ALL the pretty girls.
Boyf: So, are you trying to say im a butch?

HAHAHAHAHA.
wth.

SWEET-TALKER.

THE FIFTH.

2008-12-23T08:25:00.000-08:00

ETERNAL KISS

GLADIATOR!! nice righttt?

FAILED POSING ATTEMPT

yes, he was smacking my face.

F.E.Z.R.A

S.H.A.I.K

hellohello =))

those pix are from SUNDAYYY!

as you knwww, saturday was our 5th month. bt didnt celebrate it cos i went to jb with family. will get bck to sunday in a short while. will talk abt saturday first.

woke up at like, 8am? PFFT.

and i slept at 5am?

-.-

slept in the car.

when i woke up, still stuck in the jam at Tuas.

almost 2 hrs of jam. -.-

anwwwww, bought MANYMANY stuffs =))

okay, not THAT many. bought a white dress, a white GLADIATOR sandals (ive been wanting one, and its GORGEOUS!), A FUCKING beautiful bag and a headband. all under 40 bucks. =))

sooo back to sunday. met baby at Eunos cos he had *ahem*. then took bus 51 from wan's hs, to go city hall. guess whr we went?

SWENSENS AT MARINA SQUARE, BEBEH! =)))

my first, and his first.

no, not our first eating swensens literally.

ah nvm, go figure okay? =)

then we went jln2 at marina square and just chilled ard at the manymany steps. camwhored =))

afterwards, went to Esplanade's rooftop and just watched the scenery.

sooo monday. went to his hs, watched Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging. did some 'cooking' with him. hahaha =) yes, we always do that. 'COOKING'. haha, this time it was Fried Ice-Cream. damnnn nice. and also Roti Fries. LAGIIIIII nice! =)))

all thanks to the CHEF. My future chef.

=))

tuesday was all abt slacking at home, without bathing.

and i cut my fringe.

ALL BY MYSELF.

and im proud of it, cos it isnt all tt bad afterall.

=))

CLEARING DOUBTS.

2008-12-20T00:00:00.000-08:00

Every Breath Is Your Love,
Every Heartbeat Beats Your Name.

hellohello =))

first and foremost, would like to wish my darling babyboy..

HAPPY 5TH MONTHSARY, ANGEL!

okay,would elaborate ltr on at the end. been busy this whole week. had a very rough week, starting monday. On tuesday, met Emi and he gave me the teddy bear + flowers like the one above. =))) AWWWWW, baby. thank you sooo sooo much. watched Sky of Love with him.

WEDNESDAY! had shooting at City Hall. LOL. before that, met Emi then we train-ed together. he dropped at Eunos cos he had bike practical that day,and i dropped off at City Hall. That day was FUN! started shoot at ard 5 plus, camwhored ALOT with Fuzy, Dina and Fadiana. HAHAHA =)) it was Abg Khai's bday. haha, he also sebok2 camwhore with us. LOL. anw, baby came down to meet me at City Hall with Hafiz. Me, Dina, Fadiana and the guys ate at Macs till 8pm. then proceeded back to Esplanade, only to knw that shooting for the scene was postponed to the nxt day.

-.-

so yeah, baby sent me home...and i reached home at 10.30pm.
HAHAHAHA!
happy kapeeee member?!

thurday, had shooting again, but at Eunos. after shooting, met my babyboy at his hs. fell asleep until 2.40pm until he woke me up. went to Tamp interchange for facial with beloved Lorraine. it was good =) i did eyebrw shaping and lip threading. i swearrrr this is the thinnest eyebrows ive ever had. HAHAHA =))

then me, Emi, Lorraine, Aris and his cousin went to eat Nasi Ayam 1.80! hahaha =)) went to tamp mart afterwards to buy putu piring, bubbletea anddd waffle! haha. then slacked under the void deck and played POKER. Lorraine won the Poker game, and i think i won the other game. i forgot what's the name. LORRAINE! LOSER AH THE GUYS??? HAHAHAHA =))

Fridayyyy...went to darling's hs and watched Radit and Jani with him. Manymany things happened. Tears, Laughter. Everything happened. But in the end, everything's GREAT. =)

this week, monday to friday, was a rocky week.
really.
it wasnt easy for me, for him.
maybe i was overreacting? idk. or maybe it really was his mistake? idk.
Been thinking alot. but everytime i think of letting go, i'd remmber the good times. the times he's made me happy. the times he'd sacrificed just to see me smile. the times he'd bring laughter to my tears. the times he'd been there for me when i needed someone.

And i've just realised.
Why do we only see the mistakes when the bad happens, and forget all the good happy times?
Sometimes, all we need to do is to look beyond the imperfections and we'll see the sunshine.
we'll see what brings us happiness.
we'll see the good in others.
we'll see what's in our hearts.

and in my heart, i love him.
i truly do.
and i knw, i'll nvr be able to let go.
he has done soooo much for me, things that no other has done for me. and i knw that he's the ONLY ONE who can ever sacrifice for me like that. and i love him for that. i love him for many reasons, all craved in my heart. i dont care what he was in the past. all i knw is, he's a GREAT gentleman now.

a PERFECT guy for me.

i love you, Angel.
really love you.

Reason To My Smiles.

2008-12-14T04:29:00.000-08:00

I Swear You're My EVERY Reason

hellohello =)

okay, lets start with friday? haha, supposed to go do facial with lorraine. Bt stuffs came up so i went to TP to meet lorraine and my babylove. so while babylove was having his last ppr, i met lorraine and talked abt stuffs. *stay strong, darling* Then, we all went to Century Square to eat, lepak2 ard my area. they sent me home, then Emi waited with Lorraine for her bus. =)))

saturdayyyy, met the belo at whitesands. MY BAG WAS FURREAKING HEAVY, thanks to my laptop which i brought. Baby brought HIS laptop as well, and we brought his laptop to the Clinic Laptop. hahahaha =)) then we went to the basement bcos baby had to take passport photo for his prac motor. he gave me one picture. HOHOHO, CUTE SIA. went to Ntuc and had a race thr. 'Whoever finds the Choclait Chips first, wins!'

Unfortunately, HE WON. =(

i bought 2 Calbee Seaweed Potato Chips, and 1 Cheese Rice cracker.
baby bought Milo ice cream and Choclait Chips for his mama.
after much shopping, we went bck to his house and ate and ate and ate. he said i ate ALOT! HMPH! to baby: ATLEAST IM NOT AS FAT AS YOU!! lol. =) tried watching twilight until 7.30pm using my laptop, bt the loading was dammit slow! o we gave up watching aft a while. At night, we watched Miss World tgether and some show, while talking on the phone. HAHAHA, discuss this discuss that. -.-

Just now, worked frm 12 plus -5pm. worked with baby =)) idk, today it's like...idk,touching day? i was really touched, and i think it was a sweet day. while working just now, thr was Sonata Musim Salju blaring up. and Emi went up to me and said 'Listen to this song. Every line of it. Especially the chorus part.' and i actually listened carefully. wanted to tear up sooo sooo badly. throughout the whole time working, we'd steal glances at each other, catching each other's eyes. smiling smilingggg....sengih sengihhhh.. HAHAHA =) then he'll wink over the tables. and i'll look away and smile to myself. sometimes, it feels like we're still in the dating game. Like still getting to knw each other and still shy with each other. HAHA, funny but true.

Sonata Musim Salju:

Saat ku merindukan dirimu
Jiwa meronta kau ku damba
Oh gerhanalah seluruh pancaindera

Ku hilang dalam memori cinta
Membakar seluruh jiwa raga
Hanya kau untukku
Kau tiada dua

Bagaikan siang tiada mentari
Bagai malam tiada cahaya purnama
Tanpamu tiada erti hidup berdua
Ke akhir masa kau ku cinta

Bagaikan syurga tanpa bidadari
Kau ibarat hembusan nafas terakhir
Pulanglah sayang usah kau berpaling
Di sini ku pasrah menanti

Dikau bak salju ditiup bayu
Kan rebah di pangkuan bumi
Ku yakini kasih
Restu Illahi

Bagaikan siang tiada mentari
Bagai malam tiada cahaya purnama
Tanpamu tiada erti hidup berdua
Ke akhir masa kau ku cinta

Bagaikan syurga tanpa bidadari
Kau ibarat hembusan nafas terakhir
Pulanglah sayang usah kau berpaling
Di sini ku pasrah menanti

Ku doa kau hadir
Permaisuri mahligaiku
Hidup mati cinta kita bersama

Bagaikan siang tiada mentari
Bagai malam tiada cahaya purnama
Tanpamu tiada erti hidup berdua
Ke akhir masa kau ku cinta

Bagaikan syurga tanpa bidadari
Kau ibarat hembusan nafas terakhir
Pulanglah sayang usah kau berpaling
Di sini ku pasrah menanti

then it was time for the bride and groom to cut the cake. anddd suddenly, the song Angels Brought Me Here came out. he was right beside me, helping me out. and both of us just stopped in our tracks and started smiling. i looked up at him and he glanced down, and we smiled. i looked away cos i'd crack up laughing if i kept looking at him. and he said 'For You.'

It’s been a long and winding journey,
But I’m finally here tonight picking up the pieces and walking back into the light
Into the sunset of your glory where my heart and future lies
There’s nothing like that feeling when I look into your eyes

My dreams came true when I found you; I found you, my miracle

If you could see what I see
That you’re the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel the tenderness i feel
You would know it would be clear, that angels brought me here

standing here before you
Feels like I’ve been born again
Every breath is your LOVE
Every heartbeat speaks your name

My dreams came true right here in front of you my miracle

If you could see what I see
You’re the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel the tenderness i feel
You would know it would be clear, that angels brought me here

brought me here, to be with you
Ill be forever grateful, oohh forever thankful

My dreams came true when I found you my miracle

If you could see what I see
You’re the answer to my prayers, oh...
And if u could feel the tenderness i feel
You would know it would be clear that angels brought me here

You know i love you baby
And if you could feel the tenderness i feel
You would know it would be clear, that angels brought me here

after work, went to bugis to search for his armsocks. and we had a little fight. i was sooo mad at him and i knw he didnt deserve the treatment. he tried sooo hard to comfort me, bt i was just too egoistic. in the train home,he put his arms ard me but i didnt do anything. i didnt even look at him. then somewhere along the way, he put his hp next to my ear, letting me listen to songs he dedicated to me long time ago. i wanted to cry, and hug him and erase away all the people ard us. just us and the songs. we found a seat aft that, JUST ONE. so he sat, and i sat on his lap. he put back his hp to my ear and we continued listening to the songs, and i smiled.

only HE knows how to handle a girl like me.

2008's HISTORY.

2008-12-11T09:14:00.000-08:00

YOU'RE STILL THE HERO IN MY HEART

hellohello =))

nono, i have no pix to upload tdy. just thought i'd pen down some thoughts.

btw,before i move on, the pic above. taken some time ago. Still one of my favs.

anw, yes! pen down some thoughts! yes.
hmmm. nono, i swear im not bored. if i was,i'd pick to watch movie online instead. HAHAHA =)

year 2008's ending soon. pretty fast,huh? ive nvr been the kind to say...'Ohhh, look how fast time flies by..' well, yknw all the shits. Bt really, this year just flew past me. i cant even get hold of it. i still havent. okok, let me try to recall.

1) i still remmber my first few days in Anglo-Chinese JC. ohhh hell, i MISS ACJC! damn, the friends i had thr were AWESOME!then the orientation. oh, and ISA! my best guy buddy thr.miss chasing after him with shaving cream on my hand and him spraying MUD on me. LOL. the MCS ppl! the dikir barat! gosh, the first few mnths of this year, before my O lvl results came out, were one of the greatest. and I MISS ACJC SOOOO MUCH. yes, even the teachers and the cleaners. no, im not kidding abt the cleaners.

2) getting in St Andrew's JC. cried on my first day thr, due to missing AC toooo much. hated the orientation, and somehow the first impression and the feeling i got abt SA kinda got stuck in me. went back to AC to appeal, saw isa and cried like hell. hugged all my orientation mates cos i missed them sooo much. we'd climb the back gate together. yes, all 15-20 of us. HAHAHA. climbed over just to go to the Dover market to get some food. -.- wth,i know.

3) i still remmber giving tuition earlier this year. OHHHH, the money baby! THE MONEY! 200 bucks. that was the time i had no money issues at all. i could buy ANYTHING i wanted siaaa. okay, so now im sad.

in case you're wondering, i was tutoring my ex's sister who was sitting for her N lvl exams.

4) the big breakup of a 2-year relationship. HOHO. actually, haha no. it wasnt BIG. it wasnt dramatic or traumatic or fantastic. surprisingly.

5) then came my AWESOME SINGLE LIFE! freedom, independence. i really dont mind getting bck thr. not that im trying to hint anything, Angel! hahaha =) and for once in my wholeeeee life,i really didnt want get attached. Like, who'd wanna think abt love when you can get any guys you want??? haha! okay, kidding.

6) getting to knw my belovedbeloved classmates. how rebellious we all were/ARE. hahaha =) even the scholars werent goody-two-shoes. one of them, Chanphearum Tech ( we call him Chan btw ) kinda topped the whole level. BUT! he cabot classes, and rebel. I MISS 08S02. sigh.

7) MY CHEERLEADING COMPETITION at Taka!!!!! My first ever, hopefully nt the last! i kinda miss the trainings, the sweats, the thoughts of being fit, the building of muscles. HAH! and i kinda miss the bond i had with the mates.

8) SURPRISE SURPRISEEE. SOMEONE CAME INTO MY LIFE, and turned my whole world around. like i said in No.5, i really wasnt looking for love. HE just had to appear. who else?

Shaik Mohamad Helmi. sigh. (sighing in a good way btw)

thought it was just infatuation, cos i REALLY liked his hair and his nose! sorry, i've a fetish for hairs and noses. bottomline, he' just soooo my type. If i were having a girls day out with Loraine and Sheena and we see him nearby, the Lorraine'd be like...'OMG FEZ! got mat got mat! There! There! SOOOOO your type sia!' and Sheena'd be like...'FEZ! That is SOOOOO your guy. Your name is practically written all over his face.'

HAHAHAHA!!

and the rest of the year, is all written in my past posts.
happily ever after with Shaik Emi.

=)))
im still in love with him, it's weird.
couldnt be.
Lorraine and Sheena,this is soooo not me.
right?

haha =)
and sometimes, love changes things.
love changes a person.
and 2009, BRING IT ON.
THE BIGGGG EIGHTEEN.
=)

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAYYY! =)

2008-12-08T02:56:00.000-08:00

HAPPY 18TH BURSTDAY, ANGEL!!
=))

MYGAWDDD!
my baby's EIGHTEEN.

hoho, like finally legal huh?
anw ppl, sorry for not updating for a week? haha. been busy the last week planning his bday, sneaking away from him to buy presents and all. yeah, it was chaotic alright. but everything turned ut as planned, which satisfies me. and seeing him happy, is the best reward i get for all the planning. =)

so well, it goes like this :

on sat, planned with his mother to surprise him at home (before he wakes up). msged the WOC ppl to come surprise him the next day, so his mum agreed to cook. ( THANK YOU CIK! okay,i knw she wont be reading this, bt still. ) On Sunday, WOC ppl ( erma and syaf couldnt make it ) came ard 1.30pm and emi was still sleeping. GOOD. they gave him a WAKEUP BEATING. hahaha =) the tilam2 all tunggang tebalek, i tell you! HAHA, so kesian.

after eating and cutting the bday cake, we gave him the WOC present, which was the Celio shirt!! haha, it wasnt the same shirt he wanted to buy cos there's no more stock, bt it was a DAMNNN NICER shirt. =)) then i gave him my present to him, which was the Lee Cooper sneakers he wanted sooo soooo badly. =)) and gave him the present Lorraine, Zul, Farid, Ismadi, Khairil, Hafiz and Dixon shared, which was the Striped Polo Tshirt. Fucking lawa, i swearrrr to god. I fell in love with it the moment i saw it. HAHAHA!

so anw, told him i had 2 more surprises for him. so he got ready (AND HE WORE THE CELIO SHIRT) and we went out ard 4.30pm. trained to City Hall. and i led him to the.......

SINGAPORE FLYERRRR!
haha =))
so that was his first surprise.
took the flyer ard 6.30pm so that we can see the sunset. =)

took pix here and thr. =) and some mat saleh dude took a video while baby was taking my pic.
HOHO, funny.
after the wholeee ride and all, trained back to tamp and we tapau macs back to my area. when it was midnight, hafiz helped me bring a BIG BOARD to the RC, whr emi and fir were studying. i decorated the board with candles, a big number 1 and a big number 8. they lit up all the candles, which took 10-15 mins. HAHAHA. and aft tt, he blew the manymany candles. =))))

i had serious fun on that day, his bday.
and i hope he enjoyed it too.
and i hope he LOVED the presents.
and i hope..
i hope..

it was the BEST BIRTHDAY he ever had in his whole life.

BDAY BOY!!

after the wakeup beatings.

BDAY CAKE! Black Forest, i think.

Celio* Shirt and Lee Cooper sneakers!

HE WAS ACTUALLY GRINNING!!!!

When my digi cam batt starts to die out...

2nd photoshoot day with Lorraine and Farid!

STEP PIMP ONLY.

HAPPY NMPK??

SMOKINNNNNN' HOT!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

I SWEARRR I LOVE THIS BITCH.

im annoyed at some ppl.
REALLYREALLY ANNOYED.
these ppl dont deserve my respect.
if you were my friends, i'd tell it to ur faces.
so you'd better be thankful, you're not mine.

anddd SPECIAL THANKS TO lorraine gf and Annn, sister's bf, for helping out.
Lorraine for accompanying me and listening to me and being thr for me all these weeks of planning.
Annn for sending me o his bike to Bugis and Paragon then back to my hs, on Friday while Emi was praying.

THANKS GUYS,
appreciate it lots =)
Love you Lorraine!!

PICTURESSSS!!

2008-11-30T07:47:00.000-08:00

hellohello =)))

i knw its been a longggg time since i posted anything. been really busy this week. and on behalf of Emi, wd like to apologise for him nt updating also, cos his laptop went dead. so yeah, will update for him tmr. i PROMISE. hahaha =)

anw, this post is filled with pics. just to tell you the overview for the past wk.
sat and sunday, had chalet with Emi. =)) took pix, as you can see ltr.
monday, stayed hm. think i met emi for a short while.
tuesday, went out with him to return library books. borrowed a book for him also. =)
wed and thurs, had shooting for 'Cucuku Sayang'.

wed's scene was in the pub. thur's scene was at Fig and Olive. baby followed me to thur's shooting. so he acted extra2, step the customer in Fig and Olive. HAHAHAHA!

friday,met emi and he accompanied me buy a prepaid line. -.-
went out with my DEAREST LORRAINE to bugis yest! bought myself a baju to go out on Emi's bday!! =)) thank you darling for gg out with me on tt day! YOU KNW, I KNW EHHH!

SUNDAY! photoshooting with Emi and Lorraine. it's for lorraine's project, bt somehw we played alot. Aris joined us, andddd. AHAHAHAHAHA! BABE!! YOU KNW, I KNWWWWW. =)))

HAHAHAHA!
okay, let the pix do the talking.

PHOTOSHOOT!! =)

CALLING EMI....

AT TREE GARDEN. EMI TOOK THIS. =)

HOHO. im into ugly faces nowadays.

MY GORGEOUS LORRAINE! =)

LORRAINE AND ARIS..HOHO

LORRAINE, ARIS AND EMI'S TOE. WTF!

THE 'SUPPOSED' SHOT.

MY FAVOURITE =))

HAHAHA. CUTEEEEE.

FAT FACE. YES, THIS IS THE SHOT.

INVISIBLE LORRAINE. HAHAHA!

WHAT A SHOT. haha!

i was carrying Shaik Md Helmi. YES!

doing the cheerleader stunt. i was sitting on his shoulder. =))

CHALET!!

KHAIRIL SLEEPING. HAHA =))

hafiz, step shy. =))

to those who knw, HE LOOKS LIKE FAFA RIGHTTT??

THURS, and all i wanted is to take fugly pix.

this is just the start....

the big-mouth faceeeee.

the big-grin faceeeee..

the mulot-senget faceeee..

the muke-step-adik2 emo faceeee..

baby's stick-out tongue faceeee...

my mintak-kene-smack faceee..

AND LASTLYYYY...

SKINNY MAT KENTAL AND FATTY BOMBOM.

ALL FOR ONE, ALL FOR LOVE.

2008-11-21T02:05:00.000-08:00

HAPPY 4TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY ANGEL!!

warning, this might be a long post. so bear with me. =)

first and foremost would like to wish a very happy 4th monthsary to SHAIK MOHAMAD HELMI, who has been thru thick and thin with me for almost 6 months now. obviously, inclusive of the times we were 'teman tapi mesra'. HAHAHA =)

ppl often asked, whr the hell or hw the hell we met. lets just say, whr or how we met wasnt the point. it's HOW THE HELL i fell for him. that's the qn. we knew each other for weeks, bt was NVR interested in him. he wasnt in my POTENTIAL BF list, to start with. took him weeks, to get my number, which was funny. even when we had each other's numbers, i didnt really give a damn. cruel, i knw.

But, after a few msgs sent by him..after much persuasion to meet, i decided to meet him on 1OTH JUNE. only bcos i was bored at hm also, and darling lorraine asked me out to TP. and, thanks to THAT day,bcos that day changed EVERYTHING. it made me knw abt him more..and most imptly, knw that he has a good sense of humor (which is dammit impt for me). okay, im being all emo right nw. -.-

Anyways, darling. Thank you for not giving up on me, even if i didnt show any interest in you initially. thank you for staying right thr, hoping for me. Not many can do that, yknw. idk till now, just whyyy the hell you kept hoping for me though i didnt reply ur msgs or refused to meet up. Please tell me, i need to knw. and thank you for making me yours, in the sweetest possible way. for your courage on that day,for the letter. i was/am touched. touched that someone actually gives a damn to go all the way for me.

when im hungry at home, you'd bother to offer to go all the way here to pass me Macdonalds. because you knew i wouldnt eat anything else. and thank you for the offers to accompany me everywhr i go. because you need to see my face. thank you for still loving me much, regardless of my temper, my attitude, my ego..and most imptly,MY TAK MANDI face and MY TAK MANDI smell. you've seen me through all..with makeup, w/o makeup, before and after sch face, sch uniform, home clothes. you've seen the ugly side of me, the crazy side, the sensitive side, the emo side, the monster side. AND YOU KEPT HOLDING ON, kept on loving me.

and i thank you for that. i love you so much, sometimes the best way to express it is just by staring into your eyes for hours long in silence. This relationship, is with all my heart. Shaik Md Helmi, is with all my soul. because afterall, you're my ONE AND ONLY.

P.S: Nobody said it was wrong to be happy. So here i am, in one of the happiest chapters of my life.

hellohello =)

the pic above is taken on wed. HOHO. guess what?! haha, we sneaked into the BOYS TOILET! haha, actually it's only me sneaking in, he doesnt have to right? yeah, bt he sibk2 step sneak in also, to feel the thrill. LOL. nope, we DIDNT do anything in the toilet. just sneaked in for fun. haha =) took one pic inside, and sneaked out. walked from Safra all the way to Century Square, to eat! and along the way, we laughed and laughed. i cant exactly remmber abt what. did stupid things on the road. HAHAHA =)

went back to his place after that, cos we had no other plans. and i tried on his shirts. then i ACTED like a model, and he's the cameraman-cum-makeup artist. HAHAHA =)) watched My Sassy Girl with him. the english version. silently, i did find similarities btwn me and the girl, and btwn him and the guy. and after the movie, things were emotional. talked in the darkness, cried. No, we didnt fight. it just was an emotional day.

below are some modeling pictures! haha =) STEP ONLY.

HIS FAVOURITE! LOL. (above)

HIS CAP, HIS SHIRT, HIS BOXERS.

so, yest was our 4th month. didnt plan anything. left my shoes with him on wed, so went to pick him up frm sch and ate thr. headed to his hm to get the shoes. Took 17, double decker. and thr was NO ONE. so guess hw JAKON we were. he said it was only ME who's jakon. WHATEVER. i think he's jakon too, only afraid to admit it. BLUEK TO YOU BABY!

JAKON BOY!

BLONDY FUCK =)

2008-11-17T06:51:00.000-08:00

hellohello =)))

the pic above shows that i was in the salon!
=)
hahaha.

went to put blond extensions. yes, i didnt have anything better to do.
plus, i didnt want to dye my hair. so yeah. i have only 1 strand of blond hair. =))
met Angel at his sch ard 2plus. then him and farid followed me to do my hair!
okayyy. i was pissed with the nyonya. and i was disappointed with the way they did my hair.
URGH. i was kinda stressed aft the whole thing. she took ONE BLOODY HR just to do 4 bloody strands. WTH right? -.-

baby was nice enough to comfort me, and yeah. like do my hair for me and all. =))
THANKS FOR MAKING ME FEEL BETTER DARLING! =)

went to baby's hs aft tt to chill for awhile.
*WINKWINK*
'' 20, baby. TWENTY! '' (inside joke)

and for right nowwww.
im webcaming with him.
his voice sounds soooo dammit diff online, really.
SEXIER.
BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
-.-

he's making me laugh non-stop.
i was soo excited to hear his voice online, tt i went running to my room to take my earpiece, GIGGLING.

-.- i know. wth, right?

WHAT CAN YOU SEE IN THE PICTURE ABOVE??

2008-11-16T07:16:00.000-08:00

all i've ever wanted : YOU.

hellohello darlings =))

yest planned to just slack ard at baby's home and watch movies. BUT! we had a last minute change of plans, and decided to go PARAGON! hahahaha =) i know, random right? well it happened like this:

1) i arrived, and baby asked me to watch Katt Williams. (damnnn fucking funny, i swear!)

2) he showed me Ben Sherman shirts and even I fell in love with the shirts. so i was like 'B, whr's it?' and he was like 'Paragon, at town.' and i was like ' Wanna go Paragon?' and he was like 'Serious shit b? TODAY???' and i was like 'Yep, TODAY. i tgh feeling2 town.'

so yeah. there goes the decision..

3) while watching Night in Rodante (however you spell it!), we ate his mother's cooking! (YUMYUM!).

4) went out frm his hs ard 4.30pm.

HOHOHO. so tt's the story of the sudden decision. anw, we went to Ben Sherman. BUT BLOODY HELL, we didnt find the fucking awesome tshirt! bloodyfuck right! we stopped by Blush! and yeah, like any other guys, he tried dragging me away frm the store. LOL. then he dragged me into Celio*. myfuck myfuck. i saw this one polo long-sleeved tshirt, AND I FELL IN LOVE WITH IT. showed him, and HE FELL IN LOVE WITH IT. made him try, and dammit fuck. HE LOOKED SOOOO BLOODY HOT.

BAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

and it costs 80 bloody damn bucks!

BAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anw, we were both depressed aft that. LOL. went to simei, and ate at Banquet.
i had serious fun yest, really. minus out the 'we cannot buy the hot shirt'.
the rest of it, was FABULOUS.

and did i mention i watched Madagascar 2 online with Emi?
HAHAHAHA. oh yes, we did.
and had a hell of a fun time.
*winks*
it was a funny and nice show.
really =))

SATURDAYYY PARAGON!

i love you, cos there's no other who can make me this happy.

2008-11-15T08:16:00.000-08:00

THE PERFECT BOYFRIEND.

gives her one of his t-shirts to sleep in
leaves her cute text notes
kisses her infront of his friends
tells her she looks beautiful
look at her in the eye when she talks to you
lets her mess with your hair
touches her hair
walks around with her
forgives her for her mistakes
look at her like she's the only girl he sees
tickles her even when she says stop
hold her hands even when he's around his friends.
is the one to hold her hand and not make her reach out for him
is the one who call her and not make her call him all the time
tell her he loves her when she starts swearing
let her fall asleep in his arms
gets her mad, then kiss her
stays up with her all night when she's sick
watches her favourite movie with her
kisses her forehead
gives her the world
writes her letters
lets her wears his clothes
hangs out with her when she's sad
lets her know she's important
lets her take all the photos she wants of him
kisses her in the pouring rain
tells her when you fall in love with her
and when he tells her, loves he like he has never loved anyone before

I have the PERFECT BOYFRIEND.
all 29?
YES, all 29.
=)

P.S: thank you nadia harris! and sorry for stealing urs.
HAHAHA =)

EVERYDAY!

2008-11-13T07:25:00.000-08:00

Because you just killed my heart.

hellohello =)

ive been meeting Emi for two whole weeks straight. LOL. or maybe longer, idk.

on sunday, joined him for work after religious class (i know what you're thinking. yes, i have religious class). worked from 1pm-6pm with him, Aunt, Kak Shil, Shameer and Ismadi. that day was dammit fun! aunt was soooo crazy, and we were laughing our asses off. hahahaha!

i really love working thr. fun peeporl, nice peeporl! =)) anw, went to visit dearest Lorraine at cgh after work. cabbed thr with Emi and Hafiz. dearest gf got into a car accident. Babe, if you're reading this, pls get well soon okay! and i hope you're doing great thr =)

met Love on Monday morning. went to school with him. since he's got tutorial from 9am-12pm, i sat in the library, watching discovery channel, lying down on the sofa, getting more knowledge abt Bollywood, abt reincarnation of buddhists, the conflicts arising from claims. ALL FOR THREE HOURS. and i was sleepy. really. so anw, met baby at 12pm and ate lunch with him. 1pm-3pm, he's gt tutorial again. so yes, sat outside his class and played boxing game on his PSP.

met him again at his hs ard 9am on tuesday morning. we SLEPT all the way until 12plus. woke him up, cos he's gotta go school. his class was frm 2pm-3.30pm. his PSP just had to die on me so yes, i was soooo dammit bored. walked ard his school slowwwwly to kill time. when he finally ended, ate with him and spent time with him till 5plus. just chilled under the void deck and walked ard. hahaha =) nope, it wasnt boring. trust me.

WEDNESDAY! went to school with babylove again. he ended early, so we went to eat at Macs. there were like sec sch kids surveying and all. i think it's like a competition or smtg. went back to his hs afterwards and chilled ard until 7pm.took pix and all. and i had almost no makeup on. haha, ugly i know. please just shutup. =)) then hafiz followed us to tampines, to cut baby's hair! HOHO. its not even LONG. LOL.

went to school again with baby this morning. met him at his hs at 10am. and he die2 wanna change clothes and all. for friggin sae, he was alrdy late can? aiyooooo. so yes, had to rush him abit. ate at ITAS aft his lesson, which ended ard 12plus. then, went to his hs. SUPPOSED to clean his room. but i fell asleep. THANKS. hahaha =) so yes. he sent me home ard 5plus. then went out again with him to Tamp mart. Emi bought KFC and peanut waffle. i bought MAC fries and choc waffle. WOOHOOOO! ohhh, and we found 7 bucks on the table. okay, not exactly FOUND, bt hey no! we didnt steal either.

so go figure. =)

baby said i laughed alot today.
i was like, erm. okay? hahaha.

anyways, there are things that can hurt you. although you least expect it to hurt at first. like, say, surfing the internet. it can be very destructive to one's mind. sometimes, it's better to NOT know things you DONT KNOW or NEVER KNEW. curiosity killed the cat. it is so true. curiosity really kills. and it wont hurt not knowing things you dont want to knw. somehow, it's better off that way. i hate it when it hurts. cos i thought maybe by this time, i'd feel nothing. i'd be much stronger abt it. bt nope, i was wrong. looking at it, thinking abt it, still hurts all the same. tried hard to psycho myself into thinking positively, bt NOOO. my mind and heart refused to accept that logical thinking. like FUCK.

so right now, im moody. im depressed.
thanks to INTERNET.

WEDNESDAY PIX! me, no makeup.

THIS KITTEN IS THE CUTESTTTTTT I'VE EVER SEEN. mygawd, look at it! SOOOO DAMMIT ADORABLE! nope, it's not mine. it's a random picture i took frm frenster. LOL.

CUTE RIGHTTTT???!!!!!!
URGH! SO GERAM!

PASIR RIS PARK!

2008-11-08T07:16:00.000-08:00

hellohello =))

those pix above are from today!

went cycling with my Angelboy at pasir ris park. AHAHAHA! reached CarPark C ard 2.30pm. rented a double bike for $8/2 hours. obbbbbviously, he sat in front. and me, at the back. i cant even reach the bloody ground when im riding the bike. eh no, im not short. it's the bike that's TOO TALL. thanks =)

anyways, we rode the bike all the way to one end, then rode all the way to the other end. hahaha =) rested for awhile, while looking at the superrrrsuperrr bigggggg ships! =) took the pix there! anyways, did one veryyy crazy thing with him. HAHA! brought the bike out frm pasir ris park. and rode the bike to his house in front of manymany peeporl. met hafiz for awhile under baby's void deck, then we brought the bike up to baby's house. TO EAT. HAHAHAHA! yes, sempat makan. hahahaha =) crazy.

ard 4pm, we took off to pasir ris park again, cos we needed to return the bike at 4.30pm. we sat ard for awhile, cos we reached there in 5 mins. LOL. sat at the waterbreaker, played with the sand, and walked into the water with bare feet. picked up stones, and threw them in the water. hahaha =) after returning the bike, walked to whitesands =)

it was a veryvery great day.
a day i wouldn't EVER forget.
thanks darling, for making my days with something new every time.

at whitesands, baby was telling me abt this nerd mamat who folded his right sleeve to show off his tatts. so we waited outside the toilet for him. OHMYFUCK! wth, sooooo kental. soooo adik2 lah, PLEASEEE! i actually laughed out loud in front of him. WTH. kirekn style lah tuuuu. haha =)
mygoodness. isn't he embarrassed or wtv? i mean, i dont mind ppl who look nerdy and all. bt what's with the folded right sleeve???

hahahahahahhaha! okay, GET A LIFE PLEASE.
really, dyou need to go to such extents to show ppl you're 'fierce' or wtv you ppl call it?
i really feel like smacking his face right now.
i really should've laughed louder.

spent the last hour with babyboy under the void deck. talked abt stuffs and all. yknw, im really glad i got to knw him. im really glad i went out with him on that day. and im really glad im his.

PS: i saved a cat from getting bullied today.

note to self: get two kittens for pets when i get married with Shaik Mohamad Helmi.

ARYATI'S 13TH BIRTHDAY!

HAPPY DAYS.

2008-11-06T07:45:00.000-08:00

Love You Till End Of Time

My Hero, My Love, My All.

hellohello =))

meeting babylove every single day. WHEEEE~!

went to babe's hs on tuesday morning, then accompanied him to sch in the afternoon. waited with him until end of his break ard 5plus pm. bus-ed home alone, and was very happy =))

brought macs breakfast for baby darling on wednesday. he started sch at 9am. bought macs first. saw zul! haha =) i reached his sch ard 10am, met him and ate tgether. afterwhich, we went TM to search for aryati's bday present. walked ard and went to popular to buy stuffs to make a bday card. saw lorraine and zul! hahaha =)

then went back to his home, to make the card and all. then just chilled ard till his parents came hm ard 8.15pm. gave aryati her bday present, ate the cake and all, then headed home. =) very happy day indeed! andddd...

HAPPY 13TH BDAY, ARYATI!

today, was a veryveryvery special day.

cant say a word.

but yeah, cant get it off my mind.

VERY SPECIAL.

SHAIK EMI.

2008-11-04T05:55:00.000-08:00

WE MAY FIGHT, WE MAY CRY, BUT MY LOVE FOR YOU WILL NEVER DIE.

you call it MADNESS, but i call it LOVE.

hellohello =))

first and foremost, i'd like to say love has been okay again. it was BIG, yes it was. werent okay on saturday morn, met him ard 1pm, talked things out then headed to Erma's house for her bday though we still weren't okay.
( BTW! HAPPY 16TH BDAY, ERMA! ).

and the rest of the day after that, seemed wonderful.

on the phone for hours that night. cried, talked, laughed.

spent time with him on sunday at his house. helped him with his school work.

argued again that night. chaos on monday morn.

met on monday afternn after my Oral Presentation.

didnt really talked things out, but we're okay nw.

Angel darling.

tell you the truth.

it hurts. i did hurt so bad. and part of me didnt want to forgive you.

because i knw i can nvr forget.

bt like i said 'sometimes love can overcome the betrayal'.

i can pick fights, i can debate sooo much over the phone.

but when i come to face you, i go speechless.

i didnt scream my head off abt this matter. in fact, i didnt really knw hw the hell to react. it was too painful. if possible, i'd want to rewind everything back and tell you nt to do it.

i'd love to say 'baby, let's put this matter behind us. and move on to something new, something fresh.' but darling, i cant. atleast im nt READY to.

but what i knw is,

what i can say is, 'i do find it in my heart to give you a second chance'.

because i do love you.

i love you so much, it hurts.

it hurts because, even thou im hurting, i still could accept you back.

this is crazy.

when i look into your eyes, i know im yours to keep baby.

when i look into your eyes, i see everything im looking for.

when i look into your eyes, i see my future with you.

when i look into your eyes, i know you dont mean to hurt me.

when i look into your eyes, i know nobody else can love me the way you do.

when i look into your eyes, i know you hold the key to my heart.

ONLY YOU.

right now, i cant say we'll last forever.

but i can say, im not letting you go.

when i think of you, i think of the happy times with you.

not the horrible moments we've gone through.

and that's what matters the most.

the happiness you've given me all these while.

i do hope we'll get through this bad patch, and i promise you i'll try my best to make this work.

My life was flashing before my eyes

A second later, I walked and realized

My heart had crashed and burned in shame

You pulled me from the flames

I took your hand and you helped me upon my feet

I confessed but you had forgiven me

There's courage in the truth you said

Our love will never end

You shield me from danger, you're my shelter

You are my hiding place

There's and Angel on my shoulder, here tonight

Making sure that I'm alright

When I'm falling fast, you rescue me, you love unconditionally

And when I'm cold and so alone

Back in your arms I feel at home

I pray that you will always be,

A guardian Angel

Sent for me

My dream comes between us every now and then

I make mistakes, get in trouble, time and again

I ain't proud of who I am

When I'm down you understand

Blinded you can always seem to show the way

You're the light

You're the reason I'm here today

If you cry, I cry, So dry your eyes

There's an Angle on my shoulder, here tonight

Making sure that I'm alright

When I'm falling fast, you rescue me, you love unconditionally

And when I'm cold and so alone

Back in your arms I feel at home

I pray that you will always be,

A Guardian Angel

Sent for me

you'll always be my hero. the one who saves me from my fear, my sadness.

and i know that i'll be loving you for a very long time.

Long time, baby.

SATURDAY

LET GO.

2008-10-31T18:40:00.000-07:00

Saying Goodbye

i thought i could be every little thing you wanted.
every little thing you ever needed.
i never thought it'd go this way.
i never thought it'd end like this.
idk whether to love you for all your sacrifices and love.
or whether to hate you for hurting me so bad.

P.S: i think im too strong for myself.
i NEED to cry, someone pls.
Pls make me cry.

SHAKE AH SHAKEEEEE!!

2008-10-29T05:09:00.000-07:00

I AM NOT SHORT. I AM NOT SHORT.
I AM NOT SHORT.

I DO NOT LOOK FAT. I DO NOT LOOK FAT.

I DO NOT LOOK FAT.

hellohello earthlings =))

i have sooo manymany things to update.

=))

okay. firstly, with regards to the pix above, i went to work with babyboy at Lagun on monday frm 12pm-5pm. HOHO. okayyy. it was like some ceramah event, like lagu2 nasyid all. hahaha! i know! then gt syarahan all. hahaha! some of the makcik2 there, aiyooooo. mintak kene smack. sooo demanding! sooo anyways, met aunt and some new frens. Nabila and Erra, the pix above. kak shila and kak ayu. they're nice ppl =)) enjoyed working that day. BUTTTTT NOW, im having furrreaking muscle aches all over okay! and its been TWO days. PFFT. i really think something's wrong with me. im right-handed, bt i seem to do everything with my left. and my left arm muscles are bigger than my right's. NO MATTER WHAT I DO. tell me, how retarded is that???

p.s: my left arm muscles are bigger than my boyfriend's.

I SWEAR.

ANYWAYSSSSS.

BROTHER'S GETTING MARRIED!!

YESYESSSS. =)))

followed parents, brother and kak zana to buy a wedding ring on saturday.

OKAY. I SOOOOOOO CANT WAIT.

imagine, soon i'll have little nephews and nieces. HOW CUTE!

anddddd, i've decided to get retained instead of gg over to poly.

=) all thanks to beloved brother, and the superrrr long talk.

only HE can knock some sense into my head.

so yeah, the tension between me and my parents, ITS OVER!

idk what's wrong with me, bt i kinda cant wait for next yr.

CRAZY, much? hahaha. =)

im planning to change my subject combi to either H2 Math, Chem, Geog and H1 Phy. Or H2 Math, Chem, Phy and H1 Geog. idk, might take awhile to think over it.

i swearrrr to god, im gonna study like fuck for the next two years. disappointed too many ppl this yr, including myself. no more fooling ard, skipping school or wtv shit. okay, maybe once or twice might be reasonable. i just wanna do freaking well next yr..i swear i do. i knw im not stupid. bt i failed to overcome the power of laziness, and thus i've disappointed myself well enough. im gonna start studying during the hols. not kidding.

*SERIOUS FACE*

okay, so as you can see. im in a veryvery happy good mood today. i have noooo idea why.

anw, i was planning to quit being a cheerleader.

BUT, baby says NOOOOO.

'you cant quit being a cheerleader. you're the only cheerleader i know.'

HAHA, BABY. SELFISH! *STICKS OUT TONGUE*

okay, maybe i wont quit just yet.

sigh. -.-

and im sick.

must have gotten it from THAT STOOPID BABY DARLING.

bt still, i loveee him. =)

i love his company. and sometimes, he's soooo BELO, he gets on my nerves.

BUT still, i reallyreally do love him.

*shake shake, shake shake shake me!*

SHAKE AH SHAKEEEEEE!!!!!!!

2008-10-24T07:59:00.000-07:00

hellohello =))

these are some pictures taken at baby's hs yest =)))
and that's aryati's guitar!
HAHAHA. okay.

Here I am, everyday,

since you said, you'd come again
But it's not fair, 'cause you're not here
I wait in vain but nothing has changed
I'm a flower soaking in the rain
If I could wish one thing, I'd hear you call my name

So when will I see your face again
When will you touch my life again
When will I breathe you in again
I think I love you
Will I see your face again
Little things, like the way
She looked at me a certain kind of way
Tell me girl, where are you now
Because I don't know how much longer I can wait
I'm a dreamer waiting for the sun
When you call my name I know my life's begun

Tell me girl
When will I see your face again
When will you touch my life again
When will I breathe you in again
I think i love you
Will I see your face again

You know that all my life I've been waiting
Waiting for someone, someone like you to love me
You can't come by like an angel into my life
And then fly away
Fly away

When will I see your face again
I've only seen you once my love
When will you touch my life again
I want to see you twice my love

When will I breathe you in again
I think I love you

When will I see your face again my friend
I think I love you
Love love love you

MY BABYBOY

Shaik Mohamad Helmi.

My One and Only.

You know I love YOU.

only you.

a friend once told me :

'' the first few mnths of a relationship are always the best times. But after the third month, true colours will start to show, relationship'll gt worse, more fights occurring. And the happily ever after will be gone.''

BUT HEY.

guess what?

it's been more than three months since i've loved him.

and it's been three months we've been officially together.

true colours were out long time ago,

gone thru manymany fights.

but we're still going on strong.

still loving him, even much stronger.

still going on strong, baby.

-NOTHING BEATS SHAIK MD HELMI.

2008-10-23T06:06:00.000-07:00

hellohello =)))

TUESDAY, 14102008.

went jalan raye with the boys! Hafiz, Fir, Farid and Emi himself. =)) MY FAVOURITE BOYS!
it may look pathetic, with only 5 ppl raye-ing. BUTTTT, it was one of the funnest and funniest raye i'd ever had. =))

FRIDAY, 17102008.

went to work with my baby at Bukit Batok East. HAHA. tired, bt fun! worked from 10am-3pm.

MY FIRST EVEREVER JOB!

SATURDAY, 18102008.

went jalan raye with my SAJC friends!!!! there was Nadh, Sakinah, Amalina, Ros, Farina, Nadia, Farid, Danial and Ibrahim. IT WAS FUCKING FUN! ONE OF THE BEST! =)))

i really laughed my ass off. really i did.

andddd i have yet to get the pix frm ros and nadh, so will upload them as soon as i gt them.

SUNDAY, 19102008.

went town with Emi. ha a few upsetting things here and thr, bt it was all okay in the end. =)

he stopped by my hs, and sat ard at my hs from 8pm till 10pm. HOHO! Long or what??!!

MONDAY, 20102008.

HAPPY 3RD MONTH ANNIVERSARY DARLING =)))))

TUESDAY, 21102008.

nothing much, went to TP after sch to teman Emi during his break from 3plus till 6pm.

then went hm and watched The Happening and Definitely Maybe. =))))

WEDNESDAY, 22102008.

nothing much also, went to TP aft sch. and headed to his hs afterwards to teach Khairil math.

THURSDAY, 23102008.

as you can see, im not really in a mood to talk abt stuffs nw, right?

hoho.

having a bad time.

yes, with Emi. about? stuffs.

should be alright soon.

hope so.

LIFE SUCKS FOR NOW.

FOR ONCE.

ASSHOLE.

2008-10-15T21:54:00.000-07:00

I AM SO FUCKING SCARED.

dont think i'll make it.
fuck.
disappointing my parents tmr.
think i'll break down.
maybe, maybe not.
prepared myself for the worst.
yet, dont think i'll be able to accept the fact.
i feel fucking lost.
dont knw what i shd do.
i know NOTHING now.

i feel fucking fucked up.
and just so you know, i am my own disappointment.

WOC RAYEEEE!!!!

2008-10-11T06:11:00.000-07:00

HELLOHELLO =)))

went out with the Watchout ppl yest for jln raye =)) Emi fetched me at ard 3plus, and we chilled ard my blok first while waiting for the rest. after sweating like a pig (yes, LITERALLY), Shameer, Wan, Fir and Zainida fetched us from tpjc to go to Syaf's hs. and it was alrdy, erm 4 plus? hahaha =)

okay, wtv happens- it's all stated in the pix. so yeah. all i have to say, i reallyreally enjoyed my day yest. it's the best raye ive ever ever had. =)

but sadly, couldnt go to my baby's hs with them. my hs was supposedly the last hs. bt then by 11pm, we were still at Zaini's hs. left with my hs and baby's hs. so we had to proceed to my hs first. and i couldnt follow them back to darling's hs. =( BUTTTT. i made it up by gg to his hs just nw. =)) and to his mother, THANK YOU SOO MUCH. only baby knws what im talking abt.

WOC

Emi, Zaini, Wan, Fir

HELLO IDA!

FROM LEFT TO RIGHT:
Fir, Wan, Zaini, Faisal, Syaf, Me, Ida and Shameer.

< THE BOYS

THE GIRLS

IM BREAKDANCING! HAHAHA =)

HAPPY NMPK?

Emi, Fezra, Syaf, Erma and Ida.

we were at the traffic light, and shameer (the driver) actually went out to pose for a picture. HAHAHA!

OUR MEMBERSSS!

HAPPY IDA? HAHA =)

Babyboy, Me, Syaf, Erma and Faisal.

MY ONE AND ONLY.

ZAINI IDIOT! GO COVER MY FACE! haha =)

'Kami, dari pihak Watchout Clan, ingin mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya!!'

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WAN DOING???

picture taken with purpose, to look at my sister. -.-

THANKS SHAMEER for driving us ard (though kte pt blakang da mcm nk mampos. HAHAHAHAHA!)

-he's the love of my life.

am very sure of it.

not kidding.

PRETTY BOY.

2008-10-08T07:34:00.000-07:00

HELLOHELLO =)))

was late to sch on monday. -.-
and if i were to be late one more time,i'd be sent for DC. soooo, took a U-turn when i reached Potong Pasir. crossed the road and took bus 23 back to tampines. changed bus to Pasir Ris. and yes, you guessed it right! i landed at babyboy's hs. -.-

he got some girl's clothes to spare (yes, his sister's) and so i gt to his hs and changed. hahaha =) we chilled ard and talked for awhile. anddd guess what?

I FREAKING MADE HIM WEAR MAKEUP!
hahahahahahaha =)
yes! MASCARA AND SHOCKING PINK LIPSTICK!

HAHAHAHA =)
suchhhh a pretty boy.
his lipstick was even brighter than mine! WTF.
anw, went to whitesands to have lunch at Cavana. yumyum =) walked ard whtesands. guess what??? HE BOUGHT FOR ME THE CUTE TEDDY BEAR which i asked him not to buy for me. DIE2 YOU KNW! hahaha =) AWWWW. thanks darling for the veryvery cute teddy bear. ive named it Baby. hahaha =) the first teddy bear he gave me, i named it Angel. Angel's a guy, and Baby's a girl. =) aft tt, went back to his hs and watched It's A Boy/Girl Thing. freaking sweet show. i cried. yes, i cried. thanks baby, for like comforting me. =))))) had lotssssss of fun on monday. i played his PS2, saw the car he modified for me and everything. IT'S PINK AND IT'S FREAKING PRETTY! and it's superrrr fast. Emi's been using that car for his races. AWWW. thanks baby. its suchhhhhhhha superrr fucking nice car! =)

tuesday, oh fuck. SIAN DAY. went to school for nothing. slacked in class, watched movie. Harold and Kumar and Sex and The City. wwent online, chatted with baby online and on the phone. hahaha =) then played checkers against him. BLOODY HELL he won. its LUCK bodo! i gave u chance okay!!

went out with him aft sch just nw. went plaza sing to fetch hafiz's gf, then headed down to Penin. babyboy wanted to buy his pants. nvm baby, we go search for the other pants you're looking for after raye okay?? but then again, he's alrdy bought a superrrr nice jeans. somehow, the colour is the same as my jeans. -.- hahaha =))

I LOVE YOU BABYBOY!
and nvrrrrrrr would i exchange you for another.
i miss you.
see you on friday?
=)

he was eating the prata hotdog. i forced the whole thing into his mouth and forced him to take this pic. hahahahahahaha =)))

BABYYYYYY!!!

GAYFUCK

SEXY, right??? hahaha =)